Subject: Here's an idea for a new show. 



                 The Ballad of the Bobbit Hillbillies
                (Sung to the tune of Beverly Hillbillies)

 Come and listen to a story of a man named John,
 A poor ex-marine with a little fraction gone,
 It seems one night after getting with the wife,
 she lopped off his dong with a swipe of a knife.

 (penis, that is)

 Well, the next thing you know there's a ginsu by his side,
 and Lorena's in the car taking Willie for a ride,
 she soon got tired of her purple headed friend,
 and tossed him out the window as she rounded the bend.

 (curve, that ie)
 (pricker shrubs, wheel hubs)

 She went to the cops and confessed to the attack,
 and they called out the hounds just to get his weenie back,
 they sniffed and they barked and they pointed "over there",
 to John Wayne's Henry that was waving in the air.

 (found, that is)
 (by a fence, evidence)

 Now Peter and John couldn't stay apart too long,
 so a Dick Doc said, "Hey, I can fix your dong!!!"
 "A needle and a Thread is all you're gonna need,"
 and a whole world waited till they heard that Johnny peed.

 (whizzed, that is)
 (even seam, strait stream)

 Well, he healed and he hardened and he took his case to court
 with a cockeyed lawyer since his assets came up short.
 They cleared her of assault and acquitted him of rape,
 and his pecker was the only one they didn't show on tape.

 (Video, that is)
 (unexposed, CASE CLOSED)